Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
