i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
