scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
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