she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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