Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
