think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Randomize
