and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
