if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Randomize
