Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
