do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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