were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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