Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
