She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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