Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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