Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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