His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
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The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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