Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
they're like a gay fantastic four
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Randomize