quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Randomize
