dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
We're too hungover to prance.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize
