So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
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sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
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When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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