What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Randomize
