I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
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