Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
