We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
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Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
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oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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