Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
