then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize