u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
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