I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Randomize
