He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
