no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
