Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
