she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Randomize
