i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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