yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
