From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
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