If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
