Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
so much tequila, so little girl.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
