we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
