Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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