saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
i now understand why vodka
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
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