You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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