Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Randomize
