I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize