I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I want to walk on stilts...naked
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize
