i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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