Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Randomize
