So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize