I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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