Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
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