Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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