so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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