I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
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