we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
