I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Randomize