You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
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