Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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