absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
