I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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