remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
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