why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
