I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Randomize
