I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
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