his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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