You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Randomize
