just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize