I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Randomize
