Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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